times after time

was more difficult to sleep, it's everyday and i don't know how to end. a cup of coffee as a good friend and now has forgotten what the taste of cigarette. i have to lived even forget the taste of nicotine, how to suck it, how to smoke out, has forgotten.

now, in front of me only you who i know can changes me. give me to new world with another story you bring. while these eye glaze you lay me in comfortable position, you tell me a lot of fairy tales until  i was asleep, you whispered softly, "my dear, i love you, i love you, and i love you. thanks my dear, you have become a little angel or goddess in my life". we often clash because of cigarette, we made an appointment about a cigarette.

"don't make me changes my life cause cigarette boy", i said it and repeat. don't close my habit, don't close my behavior just for a cigarette.

boy, i love you more then you love me
boy, i need you more you need me

now, start the new life, start the new paper in the heart, start to begin all new. the choice to begin new story comes, and i take it in my new puzzle. sadness has gone, come happiness, taste a sweet candy with kind variant, taste nastar with kind of fruit, taste biscuit with kind of form
but, why should argue for difference of opinion, didn't understand is better, and whether its good to understand each other. how much energy is waste, how much tears is waste, how much emotion is waste, its no more of this affection. i still remember clearly when you sang that song, i blushed in the car, you sing with melodious, I'm happy. that day will remain forever, there will be no doubt in this love. you make my mom like you and trust you. a classic story of the journey on the high way. hhfftt...(sigh), i really miss the past.
are you remember, if we lecture in the morning i bring breakfast for you, a bring you bread, potato stick, and jelly and when i bored, you give chocolate.

more days you see annoying but i still miss you.
more days you see emotion, but i still miss you.
more days you see confused, but i still miss you.
remember it, remember it boy, more day i still miss you because still need you beside me.
if there's a better man, let me
if there's a handsome boy, let me
if there's a muscular man, let me
i miss you more then you miss me.
don't because i'm crazy but because i'm soar and will not fall.
ouch..damn, this brain broken if you gone
ouch..damn, this heart hurt if you gone

......--......
Monday, 20.00
sucker love is heaven sent
you pucker up our passion's spent
my hearts a tart your body's rent
my body's broken yours is spent
Sucker love is known to swing
prone to cling and waste these things
pucker up for heavens sake
there's never been so much at stake
i serve my head up on a plate
it's only comfort, calling late
cause there's nothing else to do
every me and every you
every me and every you
every me...
(listen music; placebo - every you every me)

i make this song as my favorite song this night, i remember when you bring a rose then you said " this for you, apologize dear if i haven't be romantic boy, but i want to you know that, i miss you, i miss you. receive this rose". ouch... what it's this, no dear, no.. rose? you know i don't like rose or flower, i different with another girl who like flower. but, i know you try as romantic boy, without you do it i still love you.
what's the rose?
why any kind color?
why barbed?

yeah... let alone, although we often clash cause kind problem, finally you succumb. thanks for it. suddenly i remember something, the book has bought. i open at part 1.
wake up my love. cause my soul remembering from the ocean floor, and offer you the wings above the ranging waves, cause quiet hooves has stopped and the footsteps of pedestrians. drowsiness has embraced the spirit of every man, while i woke up, opened the paper nostalgia my sleep.
love brought me close to you, but vacillation threw me away from you.
i sent my book,  because my complained lock words and my breath leave my bed, my love, cause feel afraid of ghosts who was behind the blanket.
(Kahlil Gibran)

i closed my book, i remember it in my brain, and think about that words.
and....
take a rest...
good night...

Mom Fairytale

this night after i has spent a cup milk, my mom tell more story about her experiences when she's teenager. told anything about her habit, especially when she fall in love. the first love is handsome boy with brown skin, very cute. chill, the rain like cats and dog, smell of wet soil.

the story's continues to flow, I'm back to be a good listener.

mom asking my relationship with E', and my answer always good.

saw kind of her expression truly stunning, it's deep. mom said, she received a letter from the boy, her heart was pounding vastly. "ouch... it's so amazing, unforgettable".

the story like this;

I'm just a daughters from commoners, my father is a soldier and my mother is a teacher in elementary school. i live with big family in cubicle house. i have three sister and three brothers. yeah.. in this house has eleven peoples. we must give and take the another. become a poor it's a choice but it's the reality during the time. sometime i felt my mom have certain attitude unjust to me and my younger sister and brother, but i still think positively. sometimes i can't stop crying, my father is a gambler, he like it very much. his many always uses to gamble and my mom must hard work do anything to get money. i can't imagine how much salary of teacher? it's so little but daily need very high. she's ever cooks 2 liters of rice but we're must stil shared out divide the omelet to many part, and put salt on the rice.

in the corner she was crying, cousen't got a bite of rice but tired with life, bitter and difficult. my friend uses good clothes, new uniform, good shoes and many book. after graduate in senior high school, i went to Jakarta lonely, work to my survival, i worked at textil industries "Winner" in Kali Deres Cengkareng. until once upon a time i met with him, a muscular man, handsome, white skin, curly hair, tall and many girl like him. haven't imagine to me can be a girl friend to him, many women jeolous with me, it's naturally couse i'm an ordinary girl. until someday he purpose to marry me. i'm 24 years old and ready to marry. i received his applies. in simplicity we got marry, my husband work as a driver from a directur of Airbone Express company and his wife is a council be patient becoming me sucsess i worked at Airbone Express Company as cargo player.
finally we have three children, we're happy live in a village, if holiday my husband use his time as farmer. now our children has teenager. I'm proud of you.

......---........
I'm proud of you mom
I'm  proud of you dad
i love you mom
i love you dad
listen this story i proud of you. you're incredible

dream ohh dream

yesterday i found my self alone
in the dark and no one else
(listen music; pure Saturday - desire)
.......--........
dddrrrtttt...ddrrrtttt....
(vibrate my phone)
hallow....
the story begin

.....--........
what are you doing?
sleeping, you?
talk with my dear
about?
all about you with your daily, act, and our love romance

....--....
Endow... (mom call)
wait
this night at seven o'clock
tut...tut..tut.. (phone end)

....--....
18.00
on the night like this
there’s so many things i want to tell you
on the night like this
there’s so many things i want to show you
cause when you’re around
i feel safe and warm
when you’re around
i can fall in love every day
(listen music; mocca - on the night like this)

.....--....
red car has been in front of my home
ouch... you're look perfect, your face, body, shirt, perfume. i like it so much
nothing a special conversation in the car

.....--.....
19.00
dear, you look so beautiful
your dress make you more perfect
you make me proud of you every moment
hm mm... I'm sure, i can't sleep this night

thanks my dear
you're so romantic
you give me a rose
candle light dinner, this place so nice
you boy, makes this situation likes a dream
(get something on his pocket)

Angie, will you marry me?
ouch... damn, he's propose me to marry him
it's so fast, but I'm sure that the choice is you
hm mm... this ring so beautiful, it's like a dream
I'll be get marry with you, dear

.....--....
this my imagine, i get it from my dream
ouch.. this make me shock, but I'm feel it's really, not a dream
while i get up 10.00 o'clock, with hastily i prepare my body to meet him

we treaties dating this afternoon...

Keep Hug

ouuhh... awesome
we laughed all night satisfied

while watching the expendables

we see the opposite muscular bulging Jet li

bullets were shoot
extraordinary heard the explosion
ahh ... you're so cute
I was persuaded by you crazy

crazy, laughing with you 

I jest you tenderly 
ahh .. so cute
very comfortable in your arms
but, how come you smaller, 
yeah..you tell me too
You said we were a couple who lean

hahahha ... I hug you laugh, I said so

ahh .... you
you always say the word sniper
that made me fall in love more with you
uuuhhh ... I'm dreaming, yeah dreaming
but doesn't seem
we are like pandas
instead, you tell me as a bears love honey
continue to embrace

your little body mutual with me, felt comfortable in your arms

you said so

so miss

miss you so

see bright lights at night 

under the stars
ahh ... you're so cute